


Never Let Go

by lightly



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 14:23:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightly/pseuds/lightly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoochun wished to all hell that this could have been just another day on the job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Let Go

Never Let Go

 

The quiet click of the bomb being armed was such a small sound and yet it cut through the noise of their boisterous conversation as if it were a fire alarm. Yoochun and Junsu stopped instantly. Stopped moving, stopped talking, stopped laughing and for a terrifying second Yoochun thought his heart might have stopped beating. Yoochun took a shallow, even breath, careful not to move even a little bit. He tried to steady himself, tried to kick his brain back into gear. His hands were still raised in a conciliatory gesture, he had been losing the friendly argument he and Junsu had just been having. It had been maybe half a minute since that ominous little click and already his arms were starting to ache, but he daren’t put them down. He daren’t move until they figured out just which one of them had stepped on the bomb.

Yoochun was already convinced he knew the answer to that riddle, though. He thought he could feel the pressure matt beneath his feet, white hot and deadly. Yoochun looked at Junsu, looked at his shock pale face and he felt only relief. He chanced a careful look down and yes, there under the construction dust and debris were the tell tale tracks of something being recently moved and there were wires, black and red, twisted together and leading off somewhere Yoochun couldn’t see. Yoochun would have to turn his head, his body, to follow the wires to where the explosive part of this IED was located.

Yoochun was relieved. Relieved that it was him standing on the trigger and not Junsu. But Junsu’s stricken expression told him that Junsu didn’t exactly feel the same way.

“Shit, Yoochun…” Junsu’s voice was whisper quiet but it still sounded unnaturally loud in the silence left in the wake of their previously echoing laughter. Junsu let his words trail off like he was afraid to say what he was going to say, so Yoochun mentally finished the sentence for him.

 _“Shit Yoochun you fucking idiot you are going to die now.”_

Yoochun might have paraphrased a little.

Junsu swallowed audibly and took a step backwards. It was a reluctant step, Yoochun could see it in Junsu’s eyes, in the jerky way he moved. Yoochun could tell that what Junsu really wanted was to throw himself on the bomb which would have been 1) extremely stupid for obvious reasons, 2) completely against protocol, again for obvious reasons and 3) ultimately futile because it would just blow the both of them to hell and gone.

“Get out!” Yoochun said, his teeth gritted. “Get out now.”

Junsu just scowled at him and took another small step away. It wasn’t a small step towards moving out of blast range, it was a step away so Junsu could get a better look at what they were dealing with. Well, with what Junsu would be dealing with, Yoochun wouldn’t be a lot of help right now.

“How bad is it?” Yoochun asked even though he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. Needed to know? Yes. Wanted to know? Very much no. Junsu didn’t answer, his face went a shade paler, his expression got a shade grimmer. “Oh,” Yoochun said almost absently. “That bad, huh?”

Again Junsu didn’t answer him, pointedly ignored him in even. Junsu turned away and fumbled for his radio. Yoochun could see that Junsu’s hands were shaking so much that it took him a couple of tries to flick the switch on the device. Junsu spoke into the radio in a low tone, Yoochun couldn’t quite hear what he was saying.

Yoochun could feel the seconds, minutes tick by. Time had an almost physical presence now, it pressed down on him like a heavy weight. Did the bomb have another trigger, did it have a timer that would kick in once the pressure matt failed to go off? How much time did he have before it went off? How long would it be before he couldn’t keep still anymore? Already his muscles burned, a slow pain that would build up and build up and build up until it became torture. The pressure matt beneath him felt like it was starting to seer away the souls of his shoes. He wanted to move, wanted to run, wanted Junsu to get the fuck out of here right the hell now.

He wondered if this bomb would as powerful as the dozen or so others that had been found in the building so far. Probably. They had all been made by the same nut job, all lovingly hand crafted, all individual and each of them more than capable of taking out this building on its own. If all the bombs had gone off the way said nut job had planned, the resulting explosion would have taken out half the district.

That would have been some firework show. Yoochun was glad that the whacko was already in custody. If Yoochun got out of here in one piece he was going to strangle that ass hole with his bare hands.

“That area was reported as cleared.”

Yoochun heard the crisp voice of their supervisor crackle over the radio and his heart constricted. This area was supposed to have been cleared, that’s why they both hadn’t been as careful as they should have been when walking though. Stupid. Fucking stupid. Yoochun thought he probably deserved to have stepped on a bomb. This area was supposed to have been cleared but it sure as shit hadn’t been cleared properly.

Yoochun felt a flash of anger roil up inside him, it was followed by disappointment and sadness. Junsu turned back to look at him, his expression was a mix of raw anguish, guilt, fear and anger. Yoochun knew that their supervisor had to have told Junsu who was responsible for this section. Yoochun thought he knew who it might have been also, he didn’t think he needed Junsu to confirm it. Junsu’s angry face might have been cute, it might have been almost enough to intimidate a five year old but Yoochun knew that--though he might have looked cute--you really, really didn’t want him to be angry at you.

Park Minwoo.

Junsu hadn’t even wanted that guy on the team for this assignment in the first place. Truth was, no one wanted to work with that guy anymore. Minwoo was a good man, had been a great cop and an asset to the bomb disposal unit. But it was that old story, a bad divorce had led to a drinking problem and now he cut a sullen figure as he slouched into the bull pen each day. Truthfully, the only reason Minwoo hadn’t been fired yet was due to some interdepartmental politics that Yoochun had never and would never be able to puzzle out. That is why Yoochun hadn’t yet and probably would never be promoted.

But Yoochun, ever the optimistic--or idiot, which ever--thought that everyone deserved a second chance.

“You know,” Yoochun said once Junsu had cut the connection on his radio. “Now would be the perfect time to tell me ‘I told you so’”

“Fuck you, idiot”

“Now is the perfect time to say that too.”

Yoochun exhaled slowly, carefully. A soft sigh. If Junsu was cursing the situation had to be dire. Yoochun was well and truly fucked.

“What’s the plan then?” Yoochun asked even though he already knew. He just wanted to keep talking, wanted to hear Junsu talk. Right now that was the only thing keeping him calm. Junsu’s hands were still shaking but he had forced his expression, is demeanour into that of blank serenity. Yoochun wondered if he could appear to be as calm if the situations were reversed. Probably not. Even now his heart felt like a Jack Rabbit trying to scramble out of his chest.

“Evacuation.” Junsu said softly and Yoochun nodded. As expected. They hadn’t yet finished clearing the building, they had been at it for hours and would have been at it for hours more--if Yoochun had not been an idiot. Yoochun had been looking forward to putting in the overtime, their rent was due. They had already evacuated as many people from the district as they could convince to go, and that had been a mission in and of itself given that the area around this building consisted of Mom and Pop stores and markets. The store owners are stubborn and didn’t want to leave. Now all unessential personnel would have to go and any available units not engaged in active bomb disposal would have to report to base camp. All hands on deck.

 _Hee, all hands on Yoochun._

Yoochun let out a sound that was somewhere in between a laugh and snort of frustration. He felt his body waver, he felt himself start to shake. Suddenly he was so very tired, this keeping still was hard work.

“Don’t move!” Junsu snapped and Yoochun fought the urge to snark back ‘Yes sir!’ He really didn’t have the energy of the brain capacity to waste on idle pettiness.

Junsu stepped away again, he moved off to Yoochun’s right and off around him. The second that Junsu was out of sight Yoochun started to panic and his world felt just that little bit colder. Ok, maybe that was just the temperature dropping. Still, Yoochun would feel better if he could see Junsu. Yoochun always felt better when he could see Junsu.

Yoochun shivered.

Somewhere, something started beeping.

“Shit.” Junsu breathed softly and Yoochun felt another surge of panic.

“Junsu, get out.” Yoochun said. He tried to keep his voice even and calm, but he failed. “Now.”

Junsu just ignored him again. Yoochun really wished Junsu would stop doing that. He heard Junsu mutter something into his radio, the words were too low for Yoochun to actually understand what Junsu was saying but his tone was rushed and urgent. The sound of the beeps from the bombs timer echoed around the cavernous room and Yoochun closed his eyes and he prayed.

 

*

 

After, afterwards when Yoochun was ninety percent sure he was all in one piece--the shock of relief made it sort of hard to tell--after that, Junsu wouldn’t talk to him. Wouldn’t even look at him. The others in their unit joked that they had just had a lovers spat. They clapped him on the back and laughed and said that Junsu would soon get his panties untwisted and they could all go out for drinks.

Man, getting drunk sounded like a good idea.

Yoochun just laughed along with his colleagues and his friends and if his laughter was a little forced no one said anything.

Yoochun and Junsu were partners, friends, brothers in arms. Their closeness had been noted but rarely was it commented upon and if the other guys they worked with even suspected the truth they never said a word.

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Yoochun watched Junsu as he stood apart from the others. Watched the way he held himself, held his arms crossed over his waist like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. Yoochun watched Junsu be praised by their supervisor. Watched him glare daggers into the back or Park Minwoo who stood alone--not even his partner wanted to stand near him now for fear of the shit storm that would follow him.

Yoochun watched Junsu and he tried not to think about just how close it had been, just like he tried to pretend that he was shaking because of the cold and for no other reason.

 

*

 

Their apartment was in darkness when they got back to it, quiet, still. No one else was home. It wasn’t that late and Yoochun expected Changmin to be home at least, even if he was just hiding in his bedroom having some private time.

But no, all was quiet, all was still.

 

It was a little spooky. After the day he’d had, coming back to an empty apartment made him feel a little uneasy. That was the blessing and the curse of living with four other people, there was always someone else home. Yoochun shivered again and turned to face Junsu. After Yoochun had been checked out by the medical staff he’d been judged relatively fit and then he’d been sent home, which had pissed him off a little. Junsu had volunteered to take him home, however, which had mollified him slightly. During the ride back Junsu would have to talk to him, right|

No, he didn’t.

And now here they stood in the tiny hallway of their cramped apartment that even with five of them they still found it difficult to afford. Junsu shucked off his boots and coat and left them lying on the floor in that way Yoochun knew Jaejoong hated. They just stood there looking at each other, Yoochun tried to smile but it was a weak effort. He opened his mouth to say he was sorry--he didn‘t know what he was sorry for, anything, everything. He didn’t get passed the first syllable before Junsu rushed at him, clung to him. Yoochun wasn’t ready for the sudden onslaught and he lost his balance and he fell down, taking Junsu with him. Yoochun knocked his hip on the little step that separated the hallway from the living area but he really didn’t care.

Junsu pressed his face into the curve of Yoochun’s shoulder. Junsu’s breath was hot and it tickled Yoochun’ skin as Junsu whispered words Yoochun couldn’t quite hear. He thought he heard the words ‘fucking’ and ‘idiot’.

“Su-ah.” Yoochun said softly, gently. He tried to push Junsu off a little, just enough so that Yoochun could look into his eyes. Junsu just clung on tighter. “Su-ah, it’s ok.”

Junsu hit him then. Hard, in the gut. All of Yoochun’s breath whooshed out of him like he’d been caught in a vacuum. Junsu stood up as Yoochun fought to breathe.

“Asshole.” Junsu said and stepped over him and into the main living area. Yoochun coughed and spluttered for a minute or so before he felt able to get up and join him. Junsu sat stiffly on their battered old sofa, his arms wrapped around his middle. “It almost wasn’t ok.” Junsu whispered, he didn’t look up.

Yoochun got it then. Never let it be said that he was quick on the uptake. In their line of work it was inevitable that this kind of thing would happen, it had happened before--but not to them until now. Yoochun always knew that it was a case of sooner or later, he’d hoped that it would have been later. Much, much, much later. Junsu clearly wasn’t in the mood for talking and really, neither was Yoochun. But he wanted to tell Junsu--needed him to know--that Yoochun was ok and all in one piece.

Yoochun thought the best way to do that would be to show him.

In a few short strides he crossed the room and, a little more forcefully than he meant to, had Junsu pressed down across the length of the sofa. Junsu’s arms were still wrapped around his middle and were now trapped under Yoochun’s weight, Junsu couldn’t get any leverage to push Yoochun off even though he tried.

Yoochun kissed him, gently at first, softly nudging Junsu’s mouth open with his lower lip. Then it was all teeth and tongues clashing together in their desperate need to get closer to each other. Yoochun tasted blood and felt a spike of pain as Junsu nipped at him a little too hard, but Yoochun didn’t care, it felt good. Yoochun tasted salt too, he thought Just might have been crying.

“Don’t cry, Su-ah.” Yoochun said softly, his lips brushing the tears away from Junsu’s cheek. “I’m here.”

 

*

In the end, Yoochun isn’t sure how they made it to their shared bedroom, or just when they got naked. Somewhere in the back of his mind--that distant part that wasn’t all caught up in the moment--he knew there had to be a messy trail of clothes leading to their bedroom door. He made a mental note to have them cleared away before the others got home, but that thought was soon lost among the sensations--the taste, the feel of Junsu, the sounds he made when Yoochun licked the skin around his nipple.

Yes, this is what Yoochun lived for.

Yoochun held onto Junsu like Junsu was his only lifeline, and really, that’s what Junsu was.

 

*

 

Sometime later, Yoochun was woken by a shrill, annoyed cry, a bark of laughter and the sounds of someone telling someone else firmly--but futilely--to calm down. Yoochun groaned and pressed himself closer to Junsu, pulling the bed clothes tighter around them and burrowing down.

“Yah! Park Yoochun!” He heard Jaejoong call. “Get out here right now!”

Yoochun groaned again and tried to pull Junsu on top of him, tried to hide behind him.

“Stop that.” Junsu admonished but there was laughter in his voice.

“Hey, do you think that if we played the ‘we almost died’ card it would get us out of trouble?”

Junsu scowled at him but then his expression softened into a smile.

“It might work with Yunho.” Junsu said and Yoochun laughed. Yoochun started to get out of bed but Junsu pulled him down again. “They can wait.” Junsu said and Yoochun couldn’t have agreed more.

 

THE END.


End file.
